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"Eye on Conservatism"
November 1, 2001
Consigned to the Ash Heap
by Robert Yoho
According to recent press reports, Bill
Clinton supposedly received a package contaminated with
salmonella at his Harlem office.
Stop the presses! Read all about it!
Somebody sent the man a rotten egg. Considering
the man’s term in office, it sounds rather appropriate.
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he had it mailed
to himself. The fact that CNN even bothered reporting
this speaks volumes about the man from Hope. Clinton loves
to see his name and face back in the headlines. This is
a man whose libido is only exceeded by the size of his
ego.
In the midst of an international war
on terrorism and a nation recovering from its wounds,
our former president wants us to believe that the "bad
guys" still hate him too.
Give us a break!
Nothing would please me more than seeing
Bill Clinton go silently into the night. Like the Soviet
Union, I would love to see his presidency consigned to
the ash heap of American and human history. But Clinton
will never allow that to happen. Like Jason in a hockey
mask, you can never get rid of the man.
Along with the reports of salmonella,
Clinton "humbly" told America that his administration
thwarted 15 different terrorist attacks. Oh yes, the terrorists
quake in fear at the mention of his name!
After the attack on the World Trade Center
in 1993, Clinton promised to punish the terrorists. After
the bombing of Khobar Towers in 1995, he promised the
perpetrators would be hunted down and punished. After
two of our embassies in Africa were bombed, Clinton boldly
threatened retaliation again. He drove the point home
again in 2000, when 17 sailors were killed on the USS
Cole.
Clinton’s war on terrorism meant that
he would launch a couple of cruise missiles every time
he was forced to testify in court. The Clinton war on
terrorism played havoc on aspirin factories and deserted
warehouses. It signaled numerous public appearance with
Clinton’s patented lip bites and jaw clenches. It also
led to the release of terrorists to our streets.
I ask you to remember that this is the
man who granted clemency to over a dozen members of the
FALN, a Puerto Rican terrorist group. So while the man
from Hope is doing public service announcements with Martin
Sheen--making them a pair of actors who only played presidents
on television--Clinton is responsible for freeing the
people who maimed and wounded members of New York’s finest.
This is a man who feels your pain.
Clinton has no business comparing his
presidency to that of George W. Bush. Our present Commander-in-Chief
has done more than just talk. America was also attacked
under Clinton’s watch. However, Clinton chose to dodge
the war on terrorism in much the same way that he dodged
the war in Vietnam.
History presented Clinton with his moment
for greatness, but he was AWOL. He could have done more
than declare war on terrorism. He could have actually
waged one. He might have left a real legacy for America’s
children--a nation that would never known the horrors
of September 11th. Clinton’s real legacy will always be
nothing more than Monica Lewinsky. His presidency will
be remembered for nothing more than misconduct, misdeeds
and missed opportunities. Other than Richard Nixon, he
is the only president we ever had who swore to uphold
the Constitution and immediately began looking for loopholes.
Please Mr. Clinton! The ash heaps awaits
you. Let us remember you the way you were, legs spread
suggestively in a crotch-level picture on the cover of
Esquire magazine. You will always be the lovable, lecherous
Chief Executive, the plaything of thong-snapping interns
everywhere. Your smiling face has become the face of the
Democratic Party.
Let the historians write the story of
your presidency. Quit trying to spin your way out of your
true legacy. There is one thing that none of your critics
can ever take away from you: you were always great at
making an "ash" out of yourself. ***
© 2001 Robert Yoho
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