Bubba Does Harvard

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Bubba Does Harvard
by Robert Yoho

November 20, 2001

COLUMN OF THE DAY!!

"Eye on Conservatism"

Columnist Robert Yoho Instead of going quietly into the annals of history as a former President and current statesman, Bill Clinton has repeatedly been speaking overseas and on colleges such as Georgetown and Harvard. These appearances have led to widespread speculation that Clinton is missing the spotlight and the power of his former office.

While both of these theories may indeed be accurate, that is not the main reason for his behavior and bizarre rhetoric. These appearances are not merely an attempt by Clinton to recapture the public stage. This is a political campaign. Moreover, I think it is time we understand that the man has never quit running for public office.

"But he has already been President," you say. "Don’t you know that he is constitutionally prohibited from running for that position again? What other high office could there be to which he might actually aspire?"

Former President and UN Secretary General Wannabe Bill Clinton If you understand Clinton’s lust for worldwide personal deification, then the answer is relatively simple: Clinton wants to be the next Secretary-General of the United Nations.

No American citizen has ever been Secretary-General of the UN. Despite the fact that the body meets in the United States, despite the fact that the "diplomats" (a polite word for spies and infiltrators) break our laws and routinely take advantage of our nation’s hospitality, and despite the fact that we pay the lion’s share of the UN operational expenses, no American has ever held that lofty position. Clinton has decided it is time—it is time for Kofi-Annan to go.

William Jefferson Clinton may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. The man from Hope is fully cognizant that America-bashing plays quite well among the UN delegates. His penchant for skirting the issues and blaming the United States first has made him the "darling" of America haters everywhere. Who could do it better?

The United Nations, that antiquated monument to global impotence, would now be headed by the dynamic and virile personality of B.J. Clinton. No doubt he would lift the institution to new heights.

Clinton running the United Nations—it is the perfect pairing. Both of them aspire to world domination. Both of them owe no allegiance or loyalty to the country which gave them birth. And both of them are good at starting things that later wind up down the drain.

One can only imagine the daily love fests that would take place between Secretary-General Clinton and the America-haters on the UN Security Council. The apologies for our country would be as numerous as the herd of young diplomatic interns who would daily flock to his office for first-hand instruction in foreign and domestic affairs.

Nearly every day, our country learns of another exposure to anthrax and a new case Clinton’s verbal dysentery. More alarming is the host of once-promising young minds digesting these anti-American diatribes. To these frat boys and college coeds, Clinton is not a respected former Chief executive. He is an arrested adolescent, a rock star, an icon of pop culture. He is the man who made Lewinsky a household name and a vulgar euphemism for a sexual act.

Better than anyone else, the man who transformed the White House into Animal House knows that America bashing will always win the hearts of the UN delegates. Therefore, these mindless babblings will continue and endear Bill Clinton to the members of the General Assembly.

The "Comeback Kid" is back on the campaign trail. Clinton’s eye is on the prize. And UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan better watch his back. ***

Photo of former President Bill Clinton courtesy of the Associated Press
UN Logo courtesy of the United Nations