MR. CHUTZPAH
THE NEVERENDING STORY OF GARY CONDIT
by The Iconoclast
February 27, 2002
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The
horrific events of September 11th may have seemed like armageddon for the victims
and families involved, but it may also have been the luckiest day in the life
of notorious California Congressman, womanizer and leather fetishist, Gary Condit
(D-CA, right). Previously under attack in the media as a chronic dissembler
and serial adulterer who was suspiciously linked to the mysterious disappearance
of Washington intern Chandra Levy, Condit managed to escape continued critical
scrutiny thanks to the flurry of media attention redirected to the Taliban terror
threat and the subsequent war in Afghanistan.
With
all the tumult, fear and controversy surrounding 9/11 and its aftermath, Congressman
Condit's original lies to the police, to the Levy family and to the media, regarding
his relationship with Chandra Levy (photo, left) and other young women in Washington,
quickly disappeared into the media trash can known as "yesterday's news". Instead,
millionaire Saudi-born madman, Osama Bin Laden, quickly replaced Congressman
Condit as America's poster boy for bad behaviour. And Mr. Condit was able to
happily bid farewell to his "fifteen minutes" in the limelight and slink back
into the same welcome obscurity occupied by other political bad boys such as
Bill Clinton, Bob Packwood and Gary Hart.
However, Congressman Condit, obviously taking a leaf from Slick Willie's playbook, believes he can now bounce back from his scandal-ridden personal life, make a last-minute political comeback, and be re-elected to his Congressional seat. And if nothing else, Gary Condit is proving that he may possess even more chutzpah than America's number-one political bunko artist, ex-presidential sleazemaster William Jefferson Clinton.
After refusing to speak to the press for the past 10 months, Congressman Condit broke his silence last week in an exclusive interview with The Observer, a British newspaper. And in the words of the British reporter who interviewed him, Condit remained defiant as ever.
So what did the hair-blower-addicted California politician have to say for himself in the interview? Well, first of all, he refused to apologize for anything:
'Why should I [apologize]? All that these people want to do is turn this tragedy into some kind of romantic novel or a scandal. There have been over 7,000 stories written about me - most of them rubbish. My private life is my private life. The media has put around this idea that public figures should go to the media to bare their souls. The Observer newspaper is not the church or God. I don't have to come to you seeking repentance. In any case, what have I got to repent for - because someone goes on TV and makes up stories about me?'
Oh my goodness. Could that be the distraught parents of Chandra Levy whom Congressman Gary Condit -- that poor, misunderstood, persecuted victim -- is referring to when he talks about folks going on TV and making up stories about him? Well, who else had the courage to go on American TV and tell it like it is about this very strange politician?
"Does the man have no shame?" you're probably asking yourself. Well no, as it happens, he doesn't. He's learned his lesson well from his obvious political role models, Bill and Hillary "Crocodile Tears" Clinton. No matter how obvious and reprehensible your errant behavior, the Clintons' successfully demonstrated, the path to quick redemption is to cast yourself as the hapless victim.
Of
course, Mr. Condit isn't very good at curling his lip in that very appealing
little-boy "I've been a ba-a-a-d boy" pose of Billy Clinton's that drove American
soccer moms to a sympathetic frenzy. But he sure has a mouth on him like Bill
Clinton.
Case in point? How about this howler about why Condit's constituents should re-elect him: "Think about it; would anyone talk about her [Chandra Levy's] case if I wasn't around? If I'm in Washington, I'll be a constant reminder to law enforcement in DC that they need to solve this case and bring some peace at last to her family."
Yes, like Bill Clinton, the incorrigible Congressman Condit is so shameless, he almost sounds like he's making sense (to liberal soccer moms, anyway). Who else could find such an innovative way of bringing peace to the grieving family of Chandra Levy? It's just so uplifting to realize that re-electing Gary Condit will be the one way to bring some peace and serenity into their lives.
It's a tough job, bringing peace to the Levy family. But someone's got to do it, and Gary Condit has volunteered for the job. You know, the man is simply too good. Just like the selfless, saintly Clintons.
That's the supposed good news emerging from the political resurrection of Gary Condit. The bad news is that if contemporary political good samaritans like Congressman Condit and the Clintons continue to be allowed to flourish like this, it's only a matter of time till the whole system of civilized society as we know it crumbles and disappears, swept away into the dissembling dustpan of ethics-challenged history. ***
© 2002 The Iconoclast
COPYRIGHT © 2002 BY THE AMERICAN PARTISAN. All writers retain rights to their work.
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