Trent Lott For President

Trent Lott For President
by Nathan Poole, Columnist

December 20, 2002

Contributor Nathan Poole I know, I know. The Democrats are conspiring against the poor good-hearted, innocent Republicans again. It must really be tough having these terrible people constantly watching your every move, just waiting for you to accidentally stick your silver foot back into your mouth. And as if that weren't bad enough, I think that the Dems might just have set this whole Trent Lott fiasco up themselves. I mean, I really don't think that it is too far-fetched to think that the Dems somehow figured out how to keep Strom Thurmond alive just long enough to throw a party for him and then somehow programmed Trent Lott to make such stupid comments.

Hell, since we're openly and honestly discussing conspiracy here, how do we even know that it was even the real Trent Lott who made those remarks? I just saw Al Gore portray Lott on Saturday Night Live, and he wasn't half bad. When he (Al Gore impersonating Trent Lott) said that he didn't believe in segregation, just that Whites and Blacks should be separate, I almost spit my beer out through my nose.

Seriously, though, I think that both the Democrats (who want to get rid of Trent Lott because it is a national disgrace to have such an openly bigoted man lead the Senate of the United States of America) and the Republicans (who would hang Trent Lott in a heartbeat if they thought it would make this scandal permanently go away) have got the wrong idea about all of this. First of all, I miss having a good national scandal, and judging from our last national scandal, most other Americans do as well. We tried to politically lynch Bill Clinton, for Pete's sake, on numerous occasions. We finally nailed him to the post when we caught him lying about having oral pleasure at the expense of an intern. Oh yeah, this country loves its scandals.

Besides wanting another really juicy scandal, I think it would be good for the Democratic Party - and indeed for all Americans - if Trent Lott led the Senate for many years to come. Every time a voter thought about voting Republican he or she would no doubt think about Mr. Lott - the mouthpiece of the Republican Party - and the ideals he represents. Some folks would vote Republican because of his ideals, but most Americans would not. Why stop in the Senate? I say Trent Lott should run for President. If the Dems could somehow get Lott on the ballot - just as California Governor Gray Davis did with Bill Simon - even I could beat him.

Trent Lott for President!!! ***

A native of San Antonio, Texas and a veteran of the United States Air Force, Nathan Poole is employed by the United States Postal Service. He lives in Irwindale, California with his wife and family.

Photo of the author courtesy of staff files