WAFFLE, WAFFLE, QUACK, QUACK

WAFFLE, WAFFLE, QUACK, QUACK
by Timothy Rollins, Editor and Publisher

September 10, 2002

Say what you want about Canada, but as dull as some of it may be, the politics aren't - at least when it comes to the oaf passing himself off as the Prime Minister. Jean Chretien (said oaf, right) has been in power by default since October 1993, having sailed in on the implosion of the Progressive Conservative Party (Tories). With 301 seats in the House of Commons, of which the Tories held a majority of 178, they went all the way down to 2 - that's right - two seats, one of whom later resigned to head the Quebec Liberals.

Chretien is the classic Pollyanna. Although a lawyer by trade, he must have the collective IQ of an ant - after being crushed by a steamroller. During question period in the Commons, he's BY FAR the scrappiest politician I've seen to hold his own in defending a position. But get this guy 50 feet away from Parliament Hill, and he's more of a bumbling fool than Inspector Clouseau. In the time he's been PM, he has throttled a tourist, knocking the guy's Vuarnets® off his face in the process, and hid in fear for his life behind his wife's nightgown while some guy broke into 24 Sussex Drive - the official residence - while she was the one brandishing the weapon (where was the RCMP security detail?) - and this is only the tip of the iceberg of screw-ups in Chretien's personal life.

As part of his consistent inconsistency, he cancelled the Tories' decision to privatize Terminal 1 at Toronto's Pearson International, stiffing the businessmen and other investors in the process, who in turn sued and thus stiffed the taxpayer, but Chretien didn't care - after all, someone else is paying the tab. In turn however, Chretien both privatized the air traffic controllers and the Greater Toronto Airport Authority as non-profit corporations (HUH?!?). Notice the hypocrisy, here folks?

The blueprint for this bozo had its foundation early. On his first working day in office, he spiked a previously-approved deal for new EH-101 helicopters for Canadian Forces Search and Rescue as well as for the Navy, designed to replace aircraft that were upwards of 40 years old, some of which had been involved in Class A mishaps in which good men were getting killed - not to mention that parts were getting next to impossible to find. Canadian companies that had already signed to do electronic work for the helicopters with the previous Campbell administration found themselves out in the cold, sued, and when Chretien finally came around, settled on a lesser version of the same aircraft at a higher price, thus screwing the taxpayer even further because unlike the earlier version, this one has virtually no domestic content inside it. As for antisubmarine work, we're still stuck flying the air equivalent of 1962 Impalas - half in the air, the other half grounded and cannibalized for parts to keep the first half flying - just barely, and even that can't last forever.

The third promise never to fly in the specially built Airbus A320 for the Prime Minister's Office, calling it a "flying Taj Mahal", has essentially turned it into a unsellable white elephant, only to turn around in his second term and express yearnings to take it for a "spin around the block."

Lest we forget his biggest promise, and that was to repeal the much-hated 7% Federal Goods and Services Tax (GST) imposed by the outgoing Tories. Though publicly stated often and repeatedly, because it was not stated in the Liberals' "Red Book", he used that as the 'excuse' to waffle out of keeping said promise, despite his vehemently fighting the issue tooth and nail while he was in opposition. Now that he's in charge, he loves it. The GST remains in effect to this day.

Chretien further demonstrated his ignorance for one and all by saying "there are no terrorists in Canada", despite clear word from the Canadian Security and Intelligence (CSIS) to the contrary. In his meeting with President Bush in Detroit yesterday where they discussed the border and other issues, it was clear that Chretien is more interested in kissing UN butt then in maintaining ties with his nation's #1 trading and defense partner.

If this alleged leader has any functioning grey matter left within him, it would be to his advantage to use what portion of it remains and focus on protecting his own home front and work on his legacy, lest he drift into the same chapters of insignificance as Joe Clark (Joe Who?). ***

Photo of Timothy Rollins courtesy of staff files
Photo of The Right Honourable Jean Chretien, M.P., Prime Minister of Canada courtesy of The Liberal Party of Canada