AUDREY, MEET HARVEY

AUDREY, MEET HARVEY
by Timothy Rollins, Editor and Publisher

April 2, 2004

Audrey Seiler (AP and Madison Police Department) Audrey Seiler (right) wasn't kidnapped at all it seems, but the whole story was a hoax - or rather - a pile of crap concocted by pathetic Audrey from the beginning. We see Audrey is but yet another sickening young twenty-something screaming for attention in perhaps the most insidious and yet odious way imaginable. With the news coming out of Madison that the University of Wisconsin coed did indeed lie about being kidnapped and that police have dropped their manhunt for a suspect that in fact never existed, it is uberbrats such as Audrey that make legitimate search efforts for the likes of Dru Sjodin - kidnapped last November from a North Dakota shopping center parking lot - and who still hasn't been either found or recovered all the more difficult, because we don't know if we're dealing with a legitimate kidnapping or someone looking for some 'me' time to be by themselves while pursuing face time on the network news.

The moment Audrey was 'found' - 'cold, but in good spirits', the sniff test began immediately sensing something seriously wrong. While the Madison Police Department has to be respected in their need to keep certain information quiet in the course of an ongoing investigation, the fact of the matter is Audrey flat-out LIED to them. She got her hometown of Rockford, Minnesota rallying behind in what seems now a totally unworthy cause with hundreds of volunteers coming out to search for her, only to be found four days later in a marsh less than a couple of miles from her apartment.

The subsequent investigation into her disappearance and interviews with Seiler proved several 'inconsistencies' between her story and the physical evidence. English Translation: There were enough holes in her story to drive a fleet of naval ships through. Seiler lied for reasons that police, her family and the rest of us are still trying to figure out.

Seiler claimed that a man she furnished a sketch to police of had abducted her at knifepoint. She alleged that he used duct tape, rope, cold medicine and other items against her, when a later review of videotape provided by a hardware store indicates that she herself bought the items in question, all of which had been found at or nearby the marsh. Deputy Police Chief Noble Wray of the Madison Police Department also noted that Seiler's personal computer had been used during the time she was missing and that research on parks and weather forecasts had been conducted on it, leading one to easily conclude that Seiler had premeditated this 'disappearance' and bogus kidnapping from the start.

What we clearly have here is an extremely screwed up little girl in a grown-up's body. At age 20, she's an adult under the law and if she wants to play grown-up games, then she can pay grown-up prices for doing so. For openers, she should be charged federally as the FBI was in on the search for the filing of not just one false police report, but TWO, because in all likelihood the 'mysterious' attack she 'suffered' on February 1st was in all probability also a crock. There is nothing worse in life than having to put up with, tolerate or stomach than a 'professional victim' or 'pro-vics', as I prefer to call them. These people need to be put away in hospitals and get the psychiatric treatment they desperately need in order that real victims can get the legitimate attention and assistance that often gets overlooked by 'pro-vics' taking advantage of the system and milking it until it moos.

In addition to the criminal charges, Seiler should be billed the full costs of the search and rescue efforts to include the hotel costs of the volunteers that came in to help look for someone who's probably only really missing between her ears, and finally after some community service, be placed on ten years supervised probation and be forced to undergo as part of probation mandatory psychiatric counseling. Note the term psychiatric and not psychological, for the former are medical doctors who can prescribe medication while psychologists and social workers are not.

Little Audrey Seiler is one messed up chick. Her imaginings are such and cravings for attention are so pathetic and pathological that she had to concoct this kidnapping story all in the name of getting 15 minutes of fame. If she wants imaginary friends, she'd do well to watch the movie "Harvey."

Audrey, meet Harvey. Harvey, meet Audrey. I'm sure you two will get along just fine. ***

Photo of Timothy Rollins courtesy of staff files
Photo of Audrey Seiler courtesy of the Associated Press and the Madison Police Department