THE INBRED JEDS ARE BACK AGAIN...

THE INBRED JEDS ARE BACK AGAIN...
by Timothy Rollins, Columnist and Editor

February 1, 2008

Yes folks, unfortunately, it is true. The Church of the Inbred Jeds has crawled out from under its rock to once again protest another funeral. Only this time, it's not a soldier. After all, a federal jury in Baltimore last year ruled against these nut-jobs and spanked them with an $11 million judgment because of their shameful and dishonorable actions, so they have been lying low on that front…that and most states have made protesting military funerals illegal.

On Saturday, President Gordon B. Hinckley of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be laid to rest following a funeral scheduled to begin at 11:00 a.m., Mountain Time.

The Westboro Baptist Church (and I use the word 'church' here very loosely) is a family church in that other than a handful of outsiders, the rest of its membership are relatives of Fred Phelps either by blood or marriage. They have applied for a permit to protest the funeral. It seems the family's complaints against President Hinckley - among others - was that he was not 'tough enough' on homosexuals, and that he was a false prophet, and that, according to one of their posters that will be displayed, "Hinckley is in Hell."

Oddly enough, those are fighting words to faithful Latter-day Saints, and 'fighting words' are not protected either by the protest permit or by the First Amendment, which these cowards are quick to hide behind. Maybe if a group of faithful Latter-day Saints band together, they can file a class action suit against these creeps, and perhaps put this 'church' of hate mongers out of business for good.

Perhaps the best way to handle these people would be for the faithful to encircle them - keeping five feet away from the group - and sing (at the top of their lungs) church hymns the likes of "Come, Come Ye Saints", "Onward, Christian Soldiers", or "God Be With You" in an effort to drown out Westboro's verbal pollution.

There is a saying about people living in glass houses not throwing stones. Let's see, Fred Phelps, the founder of these inbred Jeds, finds anything less than a foaming-at-the-mouth criticism of homosexuality and false prophets to be collaboration with his perceived enemies.

Given that Fred Phelps is nothing more than an unethical, dishonorable, crooked, thieving ex-lawyer who was disbarred by the Kansas Supreme Court way back in 1979, we have to wonder why the need for such verbal rabies exists. It is largely because the delusional Phelps believes that HE is the one personally anointed by Jesus Christ and anyone who is not one of his groupies is going straight to Hell without passing 'GO!' or collecting $200.00.

For this reason and others, everyone knows that Fred Phelps is either a false prophet or a wolf in sheep's clothing; after all, Jesus of Nazareth taught us to love the sinner while despising the sin. In baseball talk, that makes Fred 0 and 1. As for Phelps' rants against homosexuality: Remember what was just said about glass houses? It seems Fred Phelps' obsession is way beyond reason. We are talking about seriously straying off the reservation, folks. Could Phelps in actuality be a self-loathing homosexual? Could he be another Senator Larry Craig? This would make Phelps 0 and 2. Does the phrase, "Me thinks thou dost protest too much." carry with it a new meaning in Fred's case? Do Fred's homophobic rants sound a little hollower right now? Yes? I thought so.

I'm willing to lay good odds that the eventual autopsy on Phelps will show at least one or perhaps more sexually transmitted diseases within Phelps' system. Perhaps such a finding would explain the brain rot that this mentally heartless man seems to possess with such arrogance and in such great abundance.

Besides, when Fred finally does 'kick the bucket' as it were, the greatest Hell for him and others of his ilk will to be left alone in a room where they can grasp both the gravity and the depravity of actions they have committed - all in the name of God - along with seeing the swath of destruction he and his evil minions have inflicted and left behind.

After all, despite what Phelps may think, Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice applies to him as well as to everyone else who has ever lived, past, present or future…and yes Fred, that includes homosexuals and lesbians too.

Such thinking makes Phelps 0 and 3, striking him out of reality on this one. Is anybody really surprised here? ***

A veteran freelance writer, Timothy Rollins brings a wealth of political experience dating back more than three decades, and military experience going back about the same. He is a freelance writer and policy analyst living in Wisconsin who has been featured on both television and radio. He has appeared both in online publications as well as in print newspapers such as the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, USA TODAY, the Deseret Morning News in Salt Lake City and the Daily Herald in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The views expressed here by Mr. Rollins are his own and do not represent the official views of any organization or entity with which he may otherwise be affiliated. As such, Mr. Rollins alone takes full responsibility for them. He can be reached by e-mail at rollins@american-partisan.com. ***

Photo of Timothy Rollins courtesy of staff files
Photo of Fred Phelps courtesy of NNDb
With files from the Deseret Morning News

More on Fred Phelps can be found at:

The Church of the Inbred Jeds (February 3, 2006)