Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate (...well, at least try to reduce) the Negative

Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate (...well, at least try to reduce) the Negative
by Julie Foster

Being a woman is full of its problems and challenges. We have to choose, sometimes daily, between family and career. Very often, we are relied upon to provide things like meals and a clean home. We feel the emotional burden not just of our own families, but of our friends and other loved ones as well. And on top of all that, we have (gulp... I will say it) periods and all the hormonal problems that come with them.

These pressures never really let up. They may take turns, and sometimes they all come at once, but every woman (and man, too!) knows what it's like to drown in negativity. I have been a victim of that negativity in my own life lately, and I've been searching for a way out. I've turned to my friends and have taken solace in my faith. But it wasn't until I took a few moments to recall my upbringing that I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

You see, my parents taught my brother and sister and I a very basic principle. They did it in lots of different ways, but one way in particular seems to stand out in my memory.

I grew up in a relatively strict, Christian home. My parents ran our household with a set of rules, almost all of which were rooted in our faith. One of those rules, for a time, was that we were not allowed to listen to secular music. Our family had attended a conference at a local church about secular music, its "roots," and its motives. As a result, we decided as a family that we would not listen to any music that included lyrics written from a secular perspective.

Gradually, our zeal for such purity faded. However, there were times in my life when, of my own accord, I would renew my commitment to rid myself of secular music (particularly in my idealistic college days). I was called "closed-minded" by my some of my friends. Puritanical and hypocritical were popular descriptions as well, and admittedly, I reconsidered.

But the purpose of my parents' rule was to ensure that their children were surrounded by positive, faith-affirming words. They did not want to see their children fall victim to the negativity of the world.

I'm not writing to settle the debate over whether or not lyrics in music cause people to do bad things. We've all heard the "arguments" that kids commit suicide and kill cops after listening to certain types of heavy metal music. I'm of the opinion that music cannot force a person to DO anything. However, it most certainly can influence our thoughts.

I do listen to secular music. Our musicians possess extraordinary talents. They can say things that stir the soul. They can move us to action and help heal our wounds. Musicians are an integral part of our culture. So please don't see this as a manifesto against secular music. Some of it I like, some of it I don't. My point is that music has a major influence on my moods.

But music is just one example of what can influence me. I have noticed lately in my own life that I am tremendously influenced by many things around me. I have taken note of what I surround myself with. Who do I spend my time with? What kinds of conversations do I have? What am I watching on television, reading in books, hearing on the radio? All of these things, and many more, influence my state of mind.

It's actually pretty fascinating to take note of the things we feed our brain. As a result of my observations, I have come to see that in many areas of my life I have chosen to surround myself with negativity. That negativity manifests itself in several tangible areas of my life that I never noticed before. Television is a big one. There's so much trash on TV. Even in chipper little sitcoms I expose myself to behavior that is anathema to my religious convictions - and I do it for entertainment! You don't need to agree with my faith to see that if a person is to live what she professes, she ought not regularly and unnecessarily spend her time and energy on activities and/or entertainment that contradicts those convictions.

Last week I made a concerted effort to change my negative thinking by surrounding myself with positive influences. That is not to say that I want to live in a naïve, perfect little positive world, for I know that is impossible and impractical. But I must say, I have found it easier to do the things I ought to be doing (i.e. speak less ill of others and think less judgmentally) when I surround myself with positive influences.

It's really very basic. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that a person mired in negativity will tend to be more negative. Just the same, a person surrounded by the positive will tend to be more positive.

I feel like I'm pointing out the obvious, but you'd be surprised how difficult it is to live this principle out.

If you find yourself a little less enthusiastic about your life than you'd like to be, I challenge you this week to pay attention to what you surround yourself with. What kinds of things come out of your mouth? What thoughts do you have? What do you watch on TV, listen to on the radio, read?

You may not achieve perfect happiness by becoming aware of what influences you, but, if you're like me, you will be more informed, and hopefully, more in control of your state of mind.

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