Cheer Up Elian, They'll Leave You Alone When They're Bored with You.

Cheer Up Elian, They'll Leave You Alone When They're Bored with You
by Heather Roscoe

Will Elian Gonzalez be the next American hero? The making of an icon isn't too complicated and his is the perfect story: A young, shipwrecked boy found floating in the ocean on Thanksgiving day, his dying mother gasping out a plea to whoever would listen- no matter what, Elian must reach America. An innocent little six-year-old who we all want to take care of would be the perfect new icon for us to worship, he would make us proud to be Americans. A nice story, appropriately reflective and patriotic.

Somehow, I don't think being an American hero, or at least being in the spotlight is all that it's whacked up to be. Americans tend to hound our heroes, refusing to give them a moment's rest for several months or even years, only to dump them and move on to the next person that we've decided to venerate. I suppose you could call us pests who won't leave people alone when they want their solitude, and then forget to acknowledge them years down the road unless they perform some attention-grabbing feat.

The media hounds them, baying like a pack of salivating, ravenous dogs. They come rushing in, planting their cameras in people's flowerbeds, watering their lawns with false accusations and misquotes and then, adding insult to amputation, they trample the grass when they finally leave. The thing is, we love it.

Why on earth do we act this way? What makes us so inclined to latch on to people who would obviously rather settle their differences off camera than on? There is something that makes us frightfully anxious to turn everything into an issue. If someone else has a problem, it becomes our problem. Have you ever noticed that people ignore you until something disastrous happens? You might be the most hated neighbor on your block, and when you're feeling healthy conniving people will let their dogs crap in your front yard. As soon as some accident befalls you, everyone shows up on your porch, casserole in hand, with a bright-yet-appropriately-sympathetic smile on their faces. Lovely, but superficial.

If he stays, Elian Gonzalez will never be allowed to live a normal life because we won't leave him alone. The cute, bright-eyed little kid would so saturate the television that it would ruin him. Likely he'd end up having his own sitcom or talk show when he grows up. We can at least expect that he'll write a book - when he's able to - about all of his adventures, his mother's courage, the inside story on his relatives (were they really as nice and protective as they seemed?) and something about his father and how he felt 'alienated' from him. Oh help, I don't think I could take that.

So the issue still remains: What is to be done with him? For some reason no one is taking Elian's opinion very seriously. 'Send in the psychiatrists boys, Elian needs to be evaluated again.' The boy's extended family, which is willing to keep him, may find it burdensome after the news crews reluctantly pack up and leave and after Diane Sawyer looses interest and moves on to other things.

Gloria Estefan, Cuban diva, suggested that Juan Miguel Gonzalez pack up his family and defect into the United States.

"Elian would not be returning to his father," Estefan told journalist Charles Laurence, "He would be returning to the state. In Cuba, it's Castro who controls all of the children, sending them into the fields when they are six years old and denying them education unless they become communists."

Was the fair superstar exaggerating Cuban conditions or are they really that terrible?

What about those two grandmothers? Recall that, when allowed to see him, one grandma allegedly bit Elian's tongue and unzipped his pants to see how much he'd 'grown'. Not the type of people that I'd want anywhere near my child. If it's so necessary that Elian and his father be together then, fine, I agree with Estefan: Juan Miguel Gonzalez should defect. He should request asylum in the United States and live here. He should run away and hide in some unknown place like Montana, where 'helpful' Americans can't find him and he can raise his family in relative peace.

The sad truth about this whole situation is that if Elian's mother hadn't died in the crossing, and if he hadn't been found floating in an inner tube on Thanksgiving day, no one would have cared whether he came to the U.S. or not. The truth is we're a falsely sympathetic society that lives vicariously through other people's pain. Elian is being cheated by us. He's being cheated out of his childhood, out of the life that he could have lived if he had made it into the country quietly. The four-month drama has gone on long enough. It's time to leave the Gonzalezs alone and move on to something else.

Hey, how about those threats coming out of China...