The Unconsidered Sex

The Unconsidered Sex
by Heather Roscoe

Viva La Estrogen!

I'm a liberated girl; I can open the door myself. In fact, it almost never occurs to me that it should be otherwise. I have forgotten that there once was a day when men opened doors for women, stood at the table when a woman approached or carried her groceries for her. Women misinterpreted this as men trying to suppress them, sending messages that they were stronger and more necessary.

Women were wrong.

Opening a door for someone is a sign of respect. So is standing when a woman leaves or enters a room. The same considerations are given for royalty and the president of the United States. If anything, women lost a lot through their liberation deal. They lost respect, and no one can say showing respect is a chauvinist and demeaning act.

As women march through the workplace shouting their battle cry, "viva la estrogen!" men are shoved in the back corner where they can brood over their misfortune until they are ready to come out and behave.

The Millennial Man.

"What a chimera, then, is man! What a novelty! What a monster, what a chaos, what a contradiction what a prodigy! Judge of all things, feeble worm of the earth, depository of truth, a sink of uncertainty and error, the glory and shame of the universe."
- Blaise Pascal

Ah, the Millennial man! Who is this daring fellow and what is his purpose? How does he contribute to society? The millennial man is supposed to be woman's companion, almost as if woman were made first and God gave her man as a supplement to her charmed life.

The millennial man must be attractive, tallish and toned. Ripened in the sun just enough to give his skin a nice glow but not enough to make him wrinkle when he gets older. The basic requirements? Cooking skills are a must, as well as house cleaning savvy. He had better be able to change diapers because he's the one staying home with the children. Sensitivity is necessary...and some intelligence. And above all he must be romantic!

In the millennial woman's Utopia perhaps, but lets check with reality.

The millennial man is confused, and rightly so. The poor guy has a lot expected of him. Somehow he has to achieve a balance between good looks, humility and no substance. Women don't want him to get in the way. However he is expected to take over when life becomes unmanageable. So that must require some intelligence...but have an intelligent man about and there exists the threat that he'll take over the world!

If The World Were Run By Women...

"If you allow them [women] to pull away restraints and put themselves on an equality with their husbands, do you imagine that you will be able to tolerate them? From the moment that they become your fellows, they will become your masters"
- Cato the Censor

Cato, who was a Roman Consulate, was wary of women. During the Punic Wars, when Rome was strapped for resources, women were not allowed to own more than a half an ounce of gold, bright clothing or to ride in a two horsed carriage within a mile of any city unless for religious functions. Immediately after the war the feisty matrons of Rome organized a civilized revolt against the law--the beginning of the women's liberation movement.

Cato also wrote "Men rule over women, we Romans rule over all men, and our wives rule over us."

When a Roman woman uttered the words "Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia: where you are master, I am mistress", she was prepared to tackle life and not aware that she was inferior. Why? Women had an elevated place in Roman homes. Through they had less education they were highly respected and considered indispensable.

Women have done a good job showing the world that they are perfectly capable of handling life on their own. Don't try to disagree, women have just as much talent as men, although maybe not the same physical stature. But can you imagine how hellish the world would be if it were run by women?

That Despised Yet Oddly Necessary Insect

"Male, n. A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the females) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers."
- The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

If men only knew how much satisfaction women get out of mocking them. If only they could see the glee on their little painted faces when they knowingly hurl monikers like, 'macho nuisances', 'helpless slobs', 'only slightly more evolved than a garden snail and far more slimy.'

Poor men. They've had their manliness ripped away from them by the red, sparkly fingernails of liberated cats.

If women would rather be called people than be placed into a gender category then that's fine with me. People are idiots.